Like a lot of people, you were likely more open and vulnerable when you first entered into an intimate relationship. Prior to the heartbreaks and disappointments that you endured, you were more than willing to enter your partner’s world with childlike curiosity, and open your heart and soul to that person.
But, then, things started to fall apart and, all those months or years later, all those pains and devastations later, and all those betrayals and reality-checks later, you are no longer the person who once used to proudly wear their heart on their sleeve. You probably feel that preservation is more important than risk, and you decide to put on a performance for the outside world and keep your true and authentic self to yourself.
Thankfully, most, if not all of us, can still regain the enthusiasm and motivation which seems to have become a lost product of the bygone times. Below are a few tips by Bill Schantz of Mid Atlantic Financial LLC that might help you believe in love even when you feel that you have no reason to.
Tip 1 by Bill Schantz –Understand the Past:
Understanding begets friendship – in order to stop seeing your past as a frightening demon and to make peace with it, you need to go back and identify the moments, things, or people that hurt you. Bill Schantz understands that this might be the last thing that you want to do right now, but it is important to understand, learn from, and befriend your past so that you can finally unburden yourself of it.
If you keep fearing your past, you will give it the strength that it needs to keep you from ever opening your heart to true love again. One of the best ways to take away this power of negative thoughts is to dissect them and acknowledge their irrationality.
Tip 2 by Bill Schantz –Indulge in Self Love:
Bill Schantz is well aware that this is probably not the first time you have been asked to practice more self-love. However, the reason that this record keeps playing itself is only because this piece of advice is so essential and not implemented enough. Remember that you can never pour from an empty cup and, without loving yourself, it is impossible to see the external world from a lens of love.
Similarly, if you keep seeing yourself as not good enough (or young enough, pretty enough, or smart enough), the world will also keep seeing you as just that. Keep reminding yourself of all the ways in which you are special, unique, and deserving of love, and see how other peoples’ perspectives about you change for the better.
Tip 3 by Bill Schantz – Stop Being Afraid:
Once you have been hurt, it is extremely hard for you to open yourself up to anyone – we understand. But, if you keep closing yourself to new experiences and people, you will never get the chance to regain your belief in true love – a chance that, deep down, you know you are craving.
Love is not love until it involves belief, compromise, adaptation, respect and second chances.
To sum up, shutting yourself up might seem like armor right now but, before you realize it, it will turn into an emotional prison. Remember that it is impossible for us to increase our sensitivity to joy without simultaneously increasing our sensitivity to pain. According to Bill Schantz, if you want to live a fulfilling life, you must be willing to take a leap of faith every once in a while – regardless of how things might have turned out in the past.